What’s behind that smile?

I go through “seasons” of how “long” it takes me to get ready. It used to take me 30ish minutes or so, give or take. I kinda thought THAT was doing pretty good 😉 Then there was the stage of wash and go, pretty much 10 minutes and I was out the door, hair and makeup done. And then there is NOW.  Now is the season of chaos, I swear it! I’m ashamed to admit that it can take up to an HOUR to get ready now! Sadly, this doesn’t even include getting dressed, THAT’S a whole painful endeavour in itself!

Y’all I don’t spend all this time getting ready to put on “airs” about myself, or make myself prettier than this person, or wear something better than that woman. I swear that is NOT what it’s about at all. I don’t think I’m trying to be somebody I’m not either, but I’m also not revealing the REAL me.

I hide behind my mask of makeup, so carefully applied to cover up the nearly black bags under my eyes, the precisely applied highlighter & bronzer to add definition and to make me LOOK more alert, awake and glowing than I really am. Or maybe if I wear JUST the right clothes, you’ll notice that, instead of the fact that I was too tired this morning to spend much time covering up what life is for me, and that baseball cap I’m wearing, well it’s not just because it’s cute, I threw it on because I don’t sleep, so with little sleep comes BIG migraines. On a day like that, I still smile at you as though nothing is different than any other day. Because I hide behide my “EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE” mask, most of the time.

I wonder so often “why am I wired this way?” I don’t think this is part of God’s design. I believe he created fellowship with others, the friendships & relationships with others, to grow and mature into a special, trustworthy bond. I know God Is ALWAYS there for me, NO MATTER WHAT, and I heavily rely on that. PHEW, if y’all even understood HOW HEAVILY! Sometimes I think God is like,” wow, you need to get some friends Robyn” in a very joking, loving way, while we sit and talk about what’s going on, but He wouldn’t be so wrong…

Why do we hide? I know I can’t be the only one who doesn’t want others to see the crap they’re going through, why do YOU hide? What do you hide behind? Why is it so hard to reveal all that I hide behind my Million Dollar Smile or my Painted Face Mask to my family & Friends? I feel like I’m drowning in fear, yet frozen by an overwhelming sense of grief and sadness.

Friends, let’s help each other to UNMASK! Let’s encourage one another to be open. It’s not gonna happen overnight, well…miracles DO happen…but little by little maybe we can start leaning out there a one step at a time.  Looking to God first, and then letting our FAITH family support us and lift us as only they can.

Heavenly Father,

I pray that no matter what you’re hiding behind or why, that you DO HAVE GOD as your ROCK, your CONSTANT, your SAVIOUR. I pray for the power & love of God to help lift the mask to reveal the perfectly imperfect soul He has made us to be. To love who we are, where we are, right here, right now with the love of Jesus! I pray for all of us who hide behind our masks, that we might learn to trust our faith family with not just our minds, but with our whole hearts. In Jesus’ Name I Pray, Amen

YOU WILL KNOW THE TRUTH, AND THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.   John 8:32

{when you see the YOU that GOD created YOU to be, THAT is TRUTH. EMBRACE IT}

**PLEASE NOTE**

updated 5-2-18: I don’t want y’all to think that I am miserable by any means, because I am not. I am blessed with three wonderful children, this blog, a growing social circle, family and friends and so many other amazing gifts from God! But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have things in my life that aren’t perfect or the greatest, none of us do, and if you think everything in your life is absolutely perfect, chances are you’re wearing a mask to hide from yourself. I have, and do bring it all to God my friends, but that doesn’t always keep that scared, worried little girl from showing up in me. Wondering, worrying “What are we gonna do?” So, just please know loves, that even though I am truly going through a bit of a rocky path in my season right now, I’m still leaning on MY ROCK, MY GOD! I am thankful to Him for where I am, and what He has brought me through and I know that He will see me through again, but I do know that He doesn’t want me to hide from my brothers & sisters in life. He wants us to lean to each other as well. I’m not saying you should go and tell just anyone & everyone, but YOU know WHO IS YOUR CIRCLE. Love you my FAITH FAMILY!

Blessings,

~Robyn

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